I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
