just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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