Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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