You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
