I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
