but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
