i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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