oh god the rape fog is back!
i love accidental penises.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
