plz talk dirty to me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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