We need to rekindle our bromance
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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