I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need to align my fucking chakras
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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