there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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