Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
