so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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