WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
