I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
as a side note pls kill me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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