pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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