The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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