Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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