Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
