i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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