how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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