I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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