I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He passed out mid-signature
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
