She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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