lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
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It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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