Its about making memories worth repressing
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
