just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
