Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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