Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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