oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
