she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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