Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
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I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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