How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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