listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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