mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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