You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
