similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
