Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
