ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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