why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's blow job season.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
