just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
