i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
