he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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