Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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