I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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