dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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