don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
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I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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