you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
