It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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