i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
