he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
