sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
