Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
