I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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