How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
