it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
