i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
