ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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