You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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