I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
