Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
