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Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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