i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
send nudes
from the living room?
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