She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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