My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your cock deserves a montage
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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