I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
