it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize