may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
