STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
false alarm. still invincible.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
