My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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