all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
