I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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