I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
my liver is dry heaving
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pants are for mortals
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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